Don’t worry. Be happy. Donald Trump is not going to be elected President and that’s a promise, Gerry Warner

Don’t worry. Be happy. Donald Trump is not going to be elected President and that’s a promise.

 “Perceptions” by Gerry Warner

Have you been losing sleep lately at the thought of a Trump presidency? Are you wondering where you can escape? If you can believe the media, millions of Americans are planning to move to Canada. So where do Canadians go?

Well, just relax. Take a Valium because one thing is glaringly obvious after the first week of real campaigning in this most bizarre of American presidential races.

A Trump presidency simply isn’t going to happen.

Not a chance. There’s a better chance of the Toronto Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup next year. Or real estate prices falling in Vancouver. Or Vladimir Putin winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

There’s a famous line of poetry by G. K. Chesterton: “When fishes flew and forests walked and figs grew upon thorn . . . the devil’s walking parody of all four-footed things.”

Admit it. Metaphorically speaking, if Donald Trump isn’t the “devil’s walking parody” of presidential candidates the moon really is made of green cheese and the American moon landing in 1969 was a hoax as some claim.

You want evidence? Just look at how the Trump campaign unraveled in the first week of the race. He insulted the family of Kareem R. Kahn, a Muslim-American war hero who died in the first Iraq War, causing an uproar that erupted from coast to coast. And how did he react to the crescendo of criticism that descended on his famously-orange pate? Ego-maniac that he is, he doubled down on the criticism and made a bad blunder even worse. You don’t get to be President that way although you have to give Trump credit for being the first American to unite most Americans in support of a Muslim soldier.

That takes some doing!

But that’s not all. Also in Trump’s disastrous first week of campaigning he declined to endorse House Speaker Paul Ryan, the most powerful Republican in the land. He repeated his refusal to endorse Senator John McCain, a Vietnam war hero and former Republican presidential candidate no less. He said he wouldn’t be surprised if the election campaign was “rigged” against him. This is pure paranoia and lends credence to Hillary Clinton’s best line at the Democratic convention last week that you don’t want Trump’s fingers anywhere “near the nuclear trigger.”

How true!

So what are we to make of all this? I don’t claim to be an expert on American politics, but a few things are brutally obvious about Donald J. Trump. His personality is a disaster. He listens to no one but himself and bullies anyone who disagrees with him. He’s quick to take offence, hyper-sensitive about criticism, and rather than reaching out, builds walls around what he doesn’t understand or hates. He’s a total narcissist without empathy or self-awareness, but thinks he’s qualified to be President when he’s, in fact, delusional. Can you imagine a greater disaster in the Oval Office than this pathetic, but powerful man? I can’t, and quite frankly, I don’t think most Americans can either.

That’s why I say don’t worry and be happy. Trump will not be President. The wheels are coming off his bus in the first week of his campaign. He’s up against an opponent with more electoral experience (Trump has none), more money, and though flawed, is far smarter than him. Trump doesn’t even have an organization or an electoral team beyond the media publicizing his every outrageous word or claim. Senior members of his own party are in open revolt against him. I wouldn’t be surprised if they organize a beer hall putsch and throw him out before November.

The real story line in this campaign is the future of the Republican Party, if it has a future. Like Faust, Republicans made a deal with the devil and now it’s time to pay. And it’ll be no tea party when they do. Trump and the crazed Tea Party types revel in calling Hillary Clinton “the devil.” Well, come November, “the Devil” will be their President.

Can you imagine more fitting justice than that?

Gerry Warner is a retired journalist who’s covered an election or two in his time.